Here is my newest article from The Kansas City Star:

Slow down and take a deep breath
STACEY HATTON COMMENTARY

While leaving my children’s preschool one morning, I fortunately was reminded what every parent needs to hear at the beginning of the day: slow down! Who would say that to your face? No one with any sense of decorum — maybe with the exception of hall monitors or lifeguards. I was indirectly asked to slow down by a woman walking behind me who let out an audible exhalation. Actually, she could have blown me out the door with it!

Now, she didn’t realize she had done this, because when I turned around and mentioned it, she was embarrassed, so sorry. But I think she did me a favor. I am here to pass on her exhalation to you parents of young children out there. (Please, insert yours here. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.)

As the caregivers of our offspring, today’s society has programmed us to be in high gear all day long.

How many times have you gotten through the kids’ nightly bath and thought, “Where did the day go? Didn’t I just have my first cup of coffee a minute ago?”

We are creatures of habit and nurturers, so we run through the day repeating: feed, clean, feed, clean, feed, clean, clean, read aloud, fall into a pile of mush and pass out. Doesn’t this sound familiar?

I think breath-holding has become an epidemic problem. We need to start a movement to change this behavior. No more walking through life with our shoulders up to our ears, wracked with stress! No more headaches brought on by forgetting to eat or drink water for half the day! No more absentmindedness from multi-tasking to the extreme when you really aren’t doing anything well because you can’t focus on one thing at a time! No more weekly appointments to the massage therapist or chiropractor! OK, I take that back. I didn’t mean to say that.

Let me break down this problem medically. Our body needs oxygen (and food and water) to survive. When we are stressed, humans have a tendency to take shorter inhalations and not exhale completely. Breathe in oxygen; breathe out same amount of carbon dioxide. That’s what we should do.

Many of us stressed individuals walk around holding our breath the majority of the day. This is not good for us or the plants, which need our carbon dioxide to survive. It really isn’t just something made up by yoga instructors or granola crunchers of the 70s. You need to get rid of extra carbon dioxide in your body. And if Whitney Houston can do it, so can you! No waiting to exhale.

So when you feel your stress creeping up on you, stop and exhale. Exhale daily and deeply. Think about it. You might even save a plant.

Stacey Hatton is an Overland Park pediatric nurse and freelance writer. Her blog is at http://nursemommylaughs.com.

Posted on Tue, Jan. 19, 2010 10:15 PM

I have decided to step it up a notch and focus mainly on my parenting/humor commentary articles.  I feel the most comfortable with this genre and can see myself putting a book together.  In order to do this, I am going to blog M - W-F's.  The working title will be, "I've got a terrible case of the Mommy blogs." I'm sure that will change before Monday.  I need to have a goal and this seems like a challenging, yet achievable goal.

My first official blog will begin on Monday, January 4, 2010.  Until then, I will finish my antibiotic and get rid of my stubborn sinus infection.  Oh, by the way...Doctors who mock patients who have had a terribly sick 2009, should be punished to sit in close quarters with a toddler and a preschooler.  Just food for thought... now back to my Kleenex.

I must say that in the last few weeks I have started to feel like a professional writer.  I have submitted two commissioned pieces for KC Parent Magazine and have 2 more due by the middle of December.  My first commentary article based on my four year old's princess birthday party was published in the KC Star, and I entered 2 writing contests. 

The first contest entry was a challenging one.  Not only to get a catchy query letter written to the agent creating the contest, but to figure out in a short time frame how to "youth myself up" and learn how to change this insane website per contest requirements.  I think I spent more time doing that than writing the %^&%  query letter.  It was a great challenge, though, for I now feel a little more well-versed in the website management department.  Oh, I'm so proud!

Since I am enjoying writing my parenting commentary articles, and I am going back and reading old Erma Bombeck articles, I decided to submit one of my newest published pieces to the Monthly Humor Writer contest from Erma's foundation...or Ms. Funny Pants, as the children and I like to call her.

Have you ever noticed that some people/writers like to use the same salutation (and even program it into their email documents) for every email?  Some are interesting, some professional, some expressing their mantra or life values - I am going to start trying out new ones and see what feedback I get.  That is if I can figure out how to program my signature line in Vista.  I used to love Windows.  Who ever thought Vista was a good idea?  Some Sadist from Boise who has a beef with anyone with a shred of intelligence.  I am sure he or she is a lovely person - but vindictive, oooeee! 

(Salutation #1)
Pickles & Tickles,
Stacey